Tag Archives: funnies

Resigning as an Adult

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again. I want to go to McDonald’s and think that it’s a four star restaurant. I … Continue reading

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Squawks

“Squawks” are problems noted by U.S. Air Force pilots and left as post-it notes for ground maintenance crews so that the problem can be fixed before the next flight. Here are some actual maintenance complaints logged by the pilots recorded … Continue reading

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Student Bloopers

Richard Lederer St. Paul’s School (Reprinted without permission) One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following “history” of … Continue reading

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Toddler Property Law

If I like it, it’s mine. If I can take it from you, it’s mine. If I’m doing or building something, it’s mine. If it looks just like mine, it’s mine. If it’s in my hand, it’s mine. If I … Continue reading

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Philosophy

The Philosophies to life! If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it. For … Continue reading

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Not so Famous Quotes

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. – Red Buttons Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he … Continue reading

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Medical Quotes

By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. On the second day the knee was better and … Continue reading

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Live Sports Commentaries

“Moses Kiptanui – the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago.” (David Coleman) “We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite.” (Murray Walker) On … Continue reading

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Letter from Camp

Dear Mom and Dad, Our Scoutmaster told us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and two sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none … Continue reading

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Kids and Proverbs

(A Cute One) A FIRST GRADE TEACHER collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and had them come up with the rest of it. As you shall make your … Continue reading

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