“Squawks” are problems noted by U.S. Air Force pilots and left as post-it notes for ground maintenance crews so that the problem can be fixed before the next flight. Here are some actual maintenance complaints logged by the pilots recorded with the replies from the ground crews.
P: = the problem, S: = solution
P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacing
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
P: Test flight o.k. but Auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not, repeat not, fitted to this aircraft.
P: No 2 propeller casting seeping prop fluid.
S: No 2 propeller seepage normal. No 1, No 3 and No 4 propellers lack normal seepage.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Evidence of leak in right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: Volume set to a more believable level.
P: Dead bug on windshield.
S: Live bugs now on order.
P: Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces 200 fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re there for.
P: Number three engine missing.
S: Engine found on port wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to ‘straighten up’, ‘fly right’, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with the words.