How should men act today? What image should blokes have? “Growing‑up male today.”
Girl power takes the trousers off men and leaves them naked!
Joke ‑ What’s the difference for men between the toilet and Match of the Day? Men never miss Match of the Day!
Ladism (Do anything you want to do)
Society is heating the temperature up for blokes. Christians tend to be thermometers (reflect the temperature) for society, when we should be thermostats (change the temperature).
In our society, we have two main idols:‑
Pleasure. We live in a feelings dominated society. We need to get as much pleasure in life as possible! When you live on feelings though, what are you left with when the feelings have gone. People are addicted to feelings and pleasure.
Image. It is all about the surface. What you look like! Buy into it ‑ the way we get pleasure is by having a certain image. The Christian response should be, “I don’t love you for what you look like, it’s who you are!” We should not accept the image the media are trying to sell us ‑ we own our own image. We shouldn’t allow them to sell our image back to us. The reason we do allow the media to control our image is because we want acceptance, we want to be loved. As blokes though, we tend to be afraid of commitment. We are afraid of letting people close. We try to compare ourselves to others and then find ourselves rejected.
Where is God in all this?
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God ‑ this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is ‑ his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12 v 1 & 2
My image does not belong to the world, it belongs to God. God made a beautiful creation, but it is only humans out of all creation that were made in God’s image. Don’t be a surface person.
Who you are, should be the same in the dark! Take God’s image and live for Him. Perform to an audience of one! Freedom cost Jesus and it will cost us. Live for reality.
How should we act as a bloke?
Men are encouraged to see themselves in distinct roles separate to women. However, these roles are normally at the expense of women.
We know more about prodigal fathers than prodigal sons ‑ so where are our male role models today?
The dominance men are encouraged to have over women is normally at the expense of our relationships. Pornography is a doomed search without love. It causes men to think that women are there as objects for men’s pleasure. How does this make a women feel? Being thought of as a man’s toy. Sexism (treating people differently because of their sex), undermines the fabric of who we are.
We need to re‑find our roles as blokes. We are being conditioned into how we should act.
What does God think?
Males and females are both made in the image of God. God lives in relationship and so we image God when we are in relationship ‑ not just girlfriend/wife, but relationships between men and men and men and women.
The name Eve means helper. The word used is only used in describing one other person in the Bible ‑ the Holy Spirit.
Sexism happened because of the fall. The created relationship before the fall was equality.
Sexism is sin and the church should create relationships pre‑fall. There are physical differences between men and women. Generally, blokes are physically stronger (but not when it comes to pain!). But the only real biological differences are that females can have children and breast feed.
How can we empower women in the church?
1 Corinthians 12‑14. God gives gifts to all people for the sake of the church. If women are not allowed to exercise these gifts, it is at the expense of the church.
Where do we start?
We are not in the state we should be. As blokes we have blown it. There is a massive pain in society especially around blokes and we feel a need to express it. Jesus cries from the Cross for our pain and broken‑ness. Jesus Christ was a fulfilled man ‑ let’s make him our role model.
Don’t feel guilty as a bloke ‑ be affirmed by God as a man. Be a man after God’s own heart.
Sex and Sexuality
God made your sexual organs. We have been designed by God to be sexual. Blokes are different to women (in terms of attraction). Blokes tend to be stimulated by sight and physical things.
This is not necessarily bad, God made sex to be expressed in marriage. Sex does not make sexuality. You can be a sexual being but not sexually active. The perfect example is Jesus.
Sex is best within a relationship. Men and women are the only creatures that God made to have sex face to face.
Sexuality belongs to God. The world steals our sexuality and then tries to sell it back to us. Sex is worshipped instead of God.
Lies told by the world:‑
1. Love = Sex
2. Sex = Sexuality
3. Sex is just a physical act
4. You can have sex without emotional ties (this leaves us emotionally numb but sexually aroused).
5. To be a normal fulfilled bloke, you must have sex.
Sex is like ‑ two pieces of cardboard super‑glued together. When you try to tear them apart, one side (or both) will get torn.
Where is God in this?
God does not meet us when we are sorted, he meets us in our broken‑ness. Go to God.
Sexuality is our most broken part of our society. God can make us clean and forgive us. Jesus will meet us where we feel we have blown it. Jesus in Revelation says, “Behold, I make all things new.”
We must choose to go God’s way. Christianity is not about what you do ‑ Christian’s behave this way because they are Christian’s. Choose purity. The fruit of righteousness is joy, peace and life. We should not conform to the standards of this world but be transformed. God has given us so much. The temptation is to give it all up for instant gratification.
Choose Purity
Personal and private life. 2 Corinthians 10 v 5. Make every thought captive. You can’t stop the sexual thoughts going on, but you can stop them making a home in your life. Don’t play on lustful thoughts. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.” Philippians 4 v 8. Exercise control.
External life in groups. Choose purity with your eyes. Don’t take a second look. Be careful where your gaze goes. Girls know you’re doing it. Beware of how your actions are coming over to girls. Beware of what you’re doing. Touch to a woman is far more evocative. The Kingdom of God is the kingdom of right relationships. “The biggest killer in these days is loneliness.”
Mother Teresa. “Celibacy without community is impossible.” St Augustine.
Intimate relationships. How can we most please God? Romans 12 v 1. Compare yourself to God’s standards, not the worlds:‑
If you’ve got a girlfriend, talk to her about physical things. Don’t be selfish. Talk about it with other males. Get into minimal damage relationships. Sometimes we want to run sexually before we can walk. What would you be really happy with another bloke doing to the person you are marrying.
Bikini rule ‑ don’t touch anything covered by a bikini. Don’t spend hours kissing. Think, pray, talk.
We live ONCE ‑ there is no rehearsal.