Icebreakers
Get two close friends, one to leave room, other to answer questions:‑
If your friend was very hungry mid‑morning, which snack would (s)he choose?
An apple or some other fruit
A packet of crisps
A chocolate bar
Other (must be named)
If your friend didn’t like the birthday present you gave him/her, what would (s)he do?
Pretend (s)he liked it, but never use it.
Pretend (s)he liked it, but quietly go and swap it for something else.
Say (s)he didn’t like it.
If your friend saw someone walk out of a shop without paying for something (s)he had taken, what would (s)he do?
Run down the street and challenge the shoplifter.
Tell one of the shop assistants.
Pretend (s)he hadn’t noticed.
If your friend was at a party which was getting boring, what would (s)he do?
Leave, inviting you to go back to his/her place instead.
Make an effort to liven things up by getting dancing games going.
Sit in a corner grumbling about how dull it is.
On the first day of a summer holiday, what would your friend do?
Leap out of bed early with a hundred ideas for how to fill the day.
Take the opportunity to lie in bed as long as possible.
Stay up all night and skip sleeping altogether.
How often does your friend clean his/her teeth?
Every day without fail.
Two or three times per day, depending on who (s)he will be meeting.
Less than daily, only when (s)he can be bothered.
If your friend wasn’t enjoying the film you were watching at the cinema, what would (s)he do?
Doze off or think about something else.
Start throwing popcorn at the screen.
Walk out and find something else to do instead.
During an energetic evening at this club, your friend splits his/her jeans. What would (s)he do?
Leave immediately, go home and change.
Stay, but stand back to the wall for the whole evening.
Keep drawing attention to it until everyone is roaring with laughter.
If your friend ‘broke wind(!)’, what would she do?
Announce proudly I did it!
Blame it on someone else!
Quietly leave.
“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, BUT I CHOSE YOU and appointed you to go and bear fruit ‑ fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: love each other. John 15 v 13‑17
As a disciple of Jesus our friendships should mirror that of our Lord. So how is Jesus our friend?
Get into 2 and 3s and:‑
Discuss all the qualities you would like to see in a friend.
Discuss all the qualities you think you can offer a friend.
“The type of friend I am, will be the type of friend I attract.” Discuss your reaction to this statement.
“While we were God’s enemies, he made friends with us through the death of his Son. Surely, now that we are his friends, he will save us through his Son’s life.” Romans 5 v 10 (Youth Bible).
Our friendship with Jesus is unique. Jesus chose to be my friend. Even more important he called me to be his friend. FANTASTIC. He wants me to be his friend. The amazing thing I have discovered about this friendship is that I can do no wrong. He is so committed to me that he died on the cross for me.
Stories ‑ Ian and Hugh, Redland High School cutting hair.
The following six things are the type of friend Jesus is:‑
Commitment. A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18 v 24. Jesus focussed on quality not quantity. It is not what you get out of a friendship that is important BUT what you put in! Go into a friendship asking what I can give. He considered friendship a responsibility not an opportunity.
Considerate. What a man desires is unfailing love; better to be poor than a liar. Proverbs 19 v 22 He who covers over an offence promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. Proverbs 17 v 9.
Confidential. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret. Proverbs 11 v 13. The quickest way to kill a friendship is gossip. A dog has loads of friends because he wags his tail rather than his tongue!
Candid. Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Proverbs 27 v 5. An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips. Proverbs 24 v 26. Be open, honest and frank. Wounds from a friend can be trusted. The classic one for me is appearance. etc.
Constructive. As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27 v 17. Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5 v 11.
Consistent. A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17 v 17. A friend will be in your corner when you’re cornered!
I would like to give you three practical things you could do to be a better friend.
- And let us consider how we may spur one another on towards love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another. Hebrews 10 v 24‑25. We need 10 words of encouragement to combat 1 word of downer. Ring, write, whatever, to a friend telling them how much you love them. Do this regularly particularly with messages of encouragement. Practice being an encourager!
- But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16 v 7. Try learning to describe someone by their ‘internal’ qualities. e.g. Paul loves everyone and has an amazing ability to encourage people. He is always there if you need him and has a massive servant heart.
- Jesus said to his disciples: “Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, But woe to that person through whom they come.” Luke 17 v 1. So what do you do that might cause another to stumble. Commit yourself with God’s help to stop it now and change.
Everyone is hungry for love, significance, security, all of these can be found in Jesus. This was particularly important to me because it is one of the primary reasons for me becoming a Christian. I needed two things, someone who would love me, without wanting my money, my style, just me and someone to be my hero ‑ JESUS! I didn’t need christianity, I needed Jesus! I’m not here to obey a load of rules. I’m here because Jesus loves me.
Jesus should be our role model for friendship.
We must spend time with our friends in order to get to know them.
We should share things with our friends, our problems, our fears, our joys, etc.
We must not only talk but we should listen as well!
Why God made friends.
A nice poem for you to consider.
God made the world, With a heartful of love,
Then he looked down, From heaven above,
And saw that we all need. A helping hand,
Someone to share, Who’ll understand.
He made special people, To see us through
The glad times, And the sad times too;
A person whom, We can always depend,
Someone we, Can call a friend.
God made friends, So we’ll carry a part
Of this perfect love, In all our hearts.
(author unknown)