1. Love God. Philippians 2 v “Even if I am poured out…
2. Love the young people.
3. Be real – be yourself. Be exactly that.
4. Believe in the young people that you’re working with.
5. Stand with the young people when they are in it.
6. Have a laugh with the young people. (Create memories).
7. Cry with the young people.
8. Share the triumphs with the young people.
9. Confronting the pains.
10. Have (big) dreams for the young people.
11. Let the young people live their own lives. Let them go.

How should men act today? What image should blokes have? “Growing‑up male today.”
Girl power takes the trousers off men and leaves them naked!
Joke ‑ What’s the difference for men between the toilet and Match of the Day? Men never miss Match of the Day!

Ladism (Do anything you want to do)

Society is heating the temperature up for blokes. Christians tend to be thermometers (reflect the temperature) for society, when we should be thermostats (change the temperature).
In our society, we have two main idols:‑
Pleasure. We live in a feelings dominated society. We need to get as much pleasure in life as possible! When you live on feelings though, what are you left with when the feelings have gone. People are addicted to feelings and pleasure.
Image. It is all about the surface. What you look like! Buy into it ‑ the way we get pleasure is by having a certain image. The Christian response should be, “I don’t love you for what you look like, it’s who you are!” We should not accept the image the media are trying to sell us ‑ we own our own image. We shouldn’t allow them to sell our image back to us. The reason we do allow the media to control our image is because we want acceptance, we want to be loved. As blokes though, we tend to be afraid of commitment. We are afraid of letting people close. We try to compare ourselves to others and then find ourselves rejected.

Where is God in all this?

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God ‑ this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is ‑ his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12 v 1 & 2
My image does not belong to the world, it belongs to God. God made a beautiful creation, but it is only humans out of all creation that were made in God’s image. Don’t be a surface person.
Who you are, should be the same in the dark! Take God’s image and live for Him. Perform to an audience of one! Freedom cost Jesus and it will cost us. Live for reality.

How should we act as a bloke?

Men are encouraged to see themselves in distinct roles separate to women. However, these roles are normally at the expense of women.
We know more about prodigal fathers than prodigal sons ‑ so where are our male role models today?
The dominance men are encouraged to have over women is normally at the expense of our relationships. Pornography is a doomed search without love. It causes men to think that women are there as objects for men’s pleasure. How does this make a women feel? Being thought of as a man’s toy. Sexism (treating people differently because of their sex), undermines the fabric of who we are.
We need to re‑find our roles as blokes. We are being conditioned into how we should act.

What does God think?

Males and females are both made in the image of God. God lives in relationship and so we image God when we are in relationship ‑ not just girlfriend/wife, but relationships between men and men and men and women.
The name Eve means helper. The word used is only used in describing one other person in the Bible ‑ the Holy Spirit.
Sexism happened because of the fall. The created relationship before the fall was equality.
Sexism is sin and the church should create relationships pre‑fall. There are physical differences between men and women. Generally, blokes are physically stronger (but not when it comes to pain!). But the only real biological differences are that females can have children and breast feed.

How can we empower women in the church?

1 Corinthians 12‑14. God gives gifts to all people for the sake of the church. If women are not allowed to exercise these gifts, it is at the expense of the church.

Where do we start?

We are not in the state we should be. As blokes we have blown it. There is a massive pain in society especially around blokes and we feel a need to express it. Jesus cries from the Cross for our pain and broken‑ness. Jesus Christ was a fulfilled man ‑ let’s make him our role model.
Don’t feel guilty as a bloke ‑ be affirmed by God as a man. Be a man after God’s own heart.

Sex and Sexuality

God made your sexual organs. We have been designed by God to be sexual. Blokes are different to women (in terms of attraction). Blokes tend to be stimulated by sight and physical things.
This is not necessarily bad, God made sex to be expressed in marriage. Sex does not make sexuality. You can be a sexual being but not sexually active. The perfect example is Jesus.
Sex is best within a relationship. Men and women are the only creatures that God made to have sex face to face.
Sexuality belongs to God. The world steals our sexuality and then tries to sell it back to us. Sex is worshipped instead of God.
Lies told by the world:‑
1. Love = Sex
2. Sex = Sexuality
3. Sex is just a physical act
4. You can have sex without emotional ties (this leaves us emotionally numb but sexually aroused).
5. To be a normal fulfilled bloke, you must have sex.
Sex is like ‑ two pieces of cardboard super‑glued together. When you try to tear them apart, one side (or both) will get torn.

Where is God in this?

God does not meet us when we are sorted, he meets us in our broken‑ness. Go to God.
Sexuality is our most broken part of our society. God can make us clean and forgive us. Jesus will meet us where we feel we have blown it. Jesus in Revelation says, “Behold, I make all things new.”
We must choose to go God’s way. Christianity is not about what you do ‑ Christian’s behave this way because they are Christian’s. Choose purity. The fruit of righteousness is joy, peace and life. We should not conform to the standards of this world but be transformed. God has given us so much. The temptation is to give it all up for instant gratification.

Choose Purity

Personal and private life. 2 Corinthians 10 v 5. Make every thought captive. You can’t stop the sexual thoughts going on, but you can stop them making a home in your life. Don’t play on lustful thoughts. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.” Philippians 4 v 8. Exercise control.
External life in groups. Choose purity with your eyes. Don’t take a second look. Be careful where your gaze goes. Girls know you’re doing it. Beware of how your actions are coming over to girls. Beware of what you’re doing. Touch to a woman is far more evocative. The Kingdom of God is the kingdom of right relationships. “The biggest killer in these days is loneliness.”
Mother Teresa. “Celibacy without community is impossible.” St Augustine.
Intimate relationships. How can we most please God? Romans 12 v 1. Compare yourself to God’s standards, not the worlds:‑
If you’ve got a girlfriend, talk to her about physical things. Don’t be selfish. Talk about it with other males. Get into minimal damage relationships. Sometimes we want to run sexually before we can walk. What would you be really happy with another bloke doing to the person you are marrying.
Bikini rule ‑ don’t touch anything covered by a bikini. Don’t spend hours kissing. Think, pray, talk.

We live ONCE ‑ there is no rehearsal.

In an increasingly fragmented society, young people are desperately seeking a place where they can experience and participate in real community. God has placed within every human being the need to belong. Our society emphasises the role of the individual, God’s focus is on us becoming more self-less and more ‘brotherly’ in our lifestyles.

How do we create a real sense of community in our cells, a place where young people are able to grow and contribute, a place where they feel ‘safe’ to try out new things, ask difficult questions, a place where when they are challenge don’t run away and hide, where everyone feels valued?

Pray

Jesus prayed for his disciples. Pray for those in your cell. Pray for God’s life to flowing between them during the week.

Teach

Talk about community, what it is, how it feels, how to achieve it. Brainstorm community words – together, sharing, co-operation, love, peace, listen etc.. Find stories. Identify community values. Don’t run from conflict, address it together.

Model

It is so important that you as the leader model what you hope to see built. Be open, honest and encouraging. Make the time to phone cell members. Arrange evenings out. Show interest in others’. Check up on yourself to see if you’re living it out.

Have fun!

Make time to hang out, do crazy things, eat together. A lot of what Jesus did was in a relaxed informal setting. It’s a great way to develop friendship.

Discussion:

When was the last time you all had an evening out?
How much is your cell a meting rather than a community?
How can you cultivate community in your cell?
Who in your cell has a gift for building community? How can you use them to develop cell community?

This seminar is all about personal involvement and I am expecting folks to input very heavily! No answer can be wrong I am expecting your own personal reflections! I am applying the term discipleship in living in close quarters with your disciples. they will get to know all your feelings, faults, happiness, etc….

Be Prepared

Aim is to help the delegates ‘become’ and to help them get in touch with any feelings, prejudices they might have about a variety of issues. Role play four possible scenarios. The room will be split into four groups or more if necessary:
Sex You are invited to attempt to talk one person into having sex outside of marriage. How would you advise a teenage girl/boy when friends are encouraging her/him to have sex?
Drugs You are encouraged to attempt to get someone to smoke or to take some drug. What is the current ‘trendy’ drug? How do you advise? What information do you know about drugs? What information do you need?
Family You are to split into a family unit and ‘discuss’ the latest school report of your children. What issues can you think of that are relevant to families? Do you support parents or young people? Does this mean conflict with parents?
Peer Two people will be removed from the group and directions will be given about what to do next! In what ways are peers positive or negative? How would you respond to the bullying issue?
Feed back on how the groups felt doing the above and then debrief to deal with any tensions or hurts that might still be felt.

We will now role play some of the world’s worst approaches to discipleship and then work out a strategy to deal with them. You will be encouraged to make the most irrelevant, uncreative and abysmal approaches as possible! (Let’s try to get it out of your system!)

Know your feelings around certain issues. I can only offer advice and I hope that that is what we have achieved today. It is up to you to start to think about these and other subjects and reflect on them so that when they arise you are prepared!
When advising people on these issues…. DON’T PREACH. Use phrases like, “I have found that….”

Dress People

How do people identify one of the first identity responses is… dress. Let’s look at dress. We will split male and female and ask groups to ‘dress’ stick figures (both groups will dress figures of different gender and different types.
Ask yourself:
What clothes will they wear?
What magazines/papers/books will they read?
What music will they listen to?
What TV will they watch?
What will their families look like?
What education would they have or had?
What jobs will they do?
Where will they live?

What Motivates You?

This part will help you look at your own understanding of what evangelism and relationship building means in the context of discipleship. Is your motivation to win souls or love unconditionally? What tensions exist in evangelism and loving unconditionally?
Brainstorm the words detached, outreach, open and closed.
Within the small groups discuss how relationships and evangelism affects youth ministry. Look at the following verses and talk about the tensions involved.

Great Command

“Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’” Matthew 22 v 37 39

Great Commission

“Therefore go and make disciples of all cultures, baptising them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” Matthew 28 v 19

What is Detached Youth Work and Developing Action Plans

Detached youth work is working detached from a base, centre or church! (As opposed to outreach where you leave a base to meet with young people and then return them to a base or centre based where you work from the centre). Yes it is that simple! The sort of location you might find yourself in are streets, cafes, pubs, parks, playgrounds, outside schools, shops, launderettes, pool clubs, nightclubs, arcades, McD’s, etc…

“Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it.” Habbakuk 2 v 2
There is nothing wrong with planning and being directional about

For me the number one reason for doing youth work is about loving the work and about being passionate about it.

I think it is important to want to challenge prejudices or wanting to see young people change, but this shouldn’t be your over-riding reason for doing youth work.

Let me explain a bit. It is important to challenge racial prejudices but to do youth work to ensure that you can change every young person to stop being racist is not a good reason. Why? Well what happens when a young person decides to say No. Do you force your opinion? Do you see where I am going with this?

The youth work I enjoy the most is detached youth work. Walking the streets. The Street is for me the best place to be. I love the fact that it is pure. No buildings to protect – you’re actually in the young people’s environment. Out on the streets, the young people have the opportunity to say, “No”. I need to re-think the way I challenge prejudices or shape a young person’s life.