Category Archives: Quotes

Resigning as an Adult

Posted on July 2, 2010 by rich

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again. I want to go to McDonald’s and think that it’s a four star restaurant. I … Continue reading →

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Squawks

Posted on July 2, 2010 by rich

“Squawks” are problems noted by U.S. Air Force pilots and left as post-it notes for ground maintenance crews so that the problem can be fixed before the next flight. Here are some actual maintenance complaints logged by the pilots recorded … Continue reading →

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Student Bloopers

Posted on July 2, 2010 by rich

Richard Lederer St. Paul’s School (Reprinted without permission) One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following “history” of … Continue reading →

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Philosophy

Posted on July 2, 2010 by rich

The Philosophies to life! If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it. For … Continue reading →

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Not so Famous Quotes

Posted on July 2, 2010 by rich

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. – Red Buttons Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he … Continue reading →

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Medical Quotes

Posted on July 2, 2010 by rich

By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. On the second day the knee was better and … Continue reading →

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Male Language Patterns

Posted on July 2, 2010 by rich

“I can’t find it.” REALLY MEANS “It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.” “That’s women’s work.” REALLY MEANS “It’s dirty, difficult and thankless.” “Will you marry me?” REALLY MEANS “Both my roommates have moved out, I … Continue reading →

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Live Sports Commentaries

Posted on July 2, 2010 by rich

“Moses Kiptanui – the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago.” (David Coleman) “We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite.” (Murray Walker) On … Continue reading →

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Letter from Camp

Posted on July 2, 2010 by rich

Dear Mom and Dad, Our Scoutmaster told us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and two sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none … Continue reading →

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Kids and Proverbs

Posted on July 2, 2010 by rich

(A Cute One) A FIRST GRADE TEACHER collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and had them come up with the rest of it. As you shall make your … Continue reading →

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